"I'm Looking For a New Love, Baby...
Then, out of nowhere, a few losses beget a few more losses. Panic sets in. Confidence is lost. A season which began with such promise and excitement ends on the last day of the season with (gulp)...
RELEGATION for Reading
What is a beau with no beauty in the English Premiership to do? I could follow her down to the lower division. However, I could not be with her every Sunday, as television here in the States regretfully does not pick up such games. Long distance relationships never work out. A break was best for the both of us. After a sizeable mourning period, I am now ready to move on. Several ladies have flashed their eyelashes at me and I have some decisions to make.
The Big 4 are out (goodbye Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal, ManU) - imagine a Montreal Expos fan switching to the Yankees. Fan=sellout.
There's always Newcastle, the crazy ex-girlfriend. It would be fun for a awhile, no doubt. But the great sex would soon enough lead to her setting my clothes on fire in a drunken stupor and then puking all over my Playstation.
No, I narrowed my search down to two choices: Pompey and Villa. They both have much to recommend. Pompey is coming off a FA Cup title run. They still have a crusty English manager - few teams do anymore. Their stars are fun. Their jerseys are pretty sexy - blue tops and red socks -yum, better than Rachel Weiss in black and white. And their name is fun to say - Pompey!
Aston Villa, on the other hand, has my favorite manager: Irish-tactician-Martin-O'Neill. This is all said as one word.
They also have fun stars: Gareth Berry-savior of England and Agbonlahor (how fun is that to say?). And, this is very important - a bald, American goalkeeper. My old love (sniff) also had a bald American goalkeeper. And since I'm trotting out all the lame love/sex euphemisms - the bald American goalkeeper thing works - ha-ha, tee-hee, whoa (snort).
Bald American Goalkeeper signs lame-o jersey
BUT, I couldn't really get over their lame-o maroon and powder blue jerseys and was leaning towards Pompey, when...
I found the new Villa jerseys online
SO, we were married last Tuesday. I think we'll be very happy together. For now.