Super Bowl XLII Diary

4:59 Live from Wash Ave! I am joined by three friends, red wine, a bucket of hummus and lemon tarts from Whole Foods

5:00 The broadcast begins with a dramatic reading of the Declaration of Independence by former and current football players. Very well done - only qualm, Ronnie Lott's lines could have used subtitles.

5:19 Some American Idol chick is doing the national anthem.

Length of anthem: 1:54
Weight of singer: 197

Weight of singer > Length of anthem = First upset of the night! Check your prop bet tickets.

5:32 Player intros. Women start 30 min discussion of the origins of the name "Plaxico." This is why women should be banned from viewing any sporting event not involving skates.

5:42 Viewer 1: "You go little Eli!"
Viewer 2: "Eli and Peyton could be the first brother/sister combo to win the Super Bowl."

5:49 A "floater" to Wes Welker out in the flat. All sports terminology is either scatalogical or sexual in nature.

5:51 Mmmm. more wine...

6:08 A detergent ad pimps the url "mytalkingstain.com" They had to buy that addresss from Pat Robertson who had been using it to sell tricked up Shroud of Turin t-shirts.

6:10 I'm still laughing at my last entry

6:12 No more wine for Davey

6:32 I am thinking that we need celebrity announcers for the Super Bowl. I want to hear Sean Connery say, "Jacobs brusts a brig one up the grut. Yourve grot to grive the rrrock to the brig drog, man."

6:50 These lemon tarts are fabulous. Part cake, part cookie, part sunshine and tamborines.

7:42 The game is so boring that I am actively rooting for a catastophic injury - preferrably one involving an exposed bone.

7:44 Speaking of exposed bone, Paul "Pee Wee Herman" Reubens is in the crowd. Awwright!

8:10 NY Giant Tight End Kevin"Boss" goes for a long gain. Their starting TE Jeremy "Shockey" is injured for tonight's game. No plays yet from their third TE, Peter "Muthafuckinlightning"

8:26 FOX Graphic:
"Pats took lead against Giants at 11:05 of the 4th qtr in Dec. game"
"Giants took lead against Pats at 11:06 of the 4th qtr tonight"
"Also, Abe Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy and JFK had a secretary named Lincoln"
"Lincoln and Kennedy both have seven letters"

8:31 The Giants apparently have a trainer that has been on the job since 1948. He's rubbed a lot of balm. He's a balm rubber from way back. He rubs balm.

8:56 Troy states, "Sometimes you just get a false sense of protection." I'm guessing he's speaking from an experience involving Croatian sailors and expired lamb skin condoms.

8:58 Touchdown Plaxico! Giants Win!
Women immediately revive catfight about his name.
Two leading theories:
He was either born in Plaxi County OR his mom really liked how the word "plexiglass" sounded.

9:07 Good night! Remember to watch the Sarah Connor Chronicles tomorrow night on FOX!