So Taguchi's House of Super Fun Time

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

David Caruso Theatre

Note: I have not actually viewed an entire 'CSI: Miami' episode. The following tele-play is only based upon trailers I have seen or an accidental few seconds seen while remote surfing.

(our hero enters an abandoned South Beach nightclub bathed in early morning sunlight)

Chick underling: "Lieutenant, the victim is Senator Chris Dodd, chairman of the Senate Banking Committee

DC (crouches over body, sunglasses in mouth): Bailout heal thyself...

DC (grimaces, puts sunglasses on, stands up): It looks the gentleman from the great state of Connecticut now goes by...
DC (takes sunglasses off, turns to camera, lowers voice an octave): ...Senator Chris Dead

(cue: LOUD SONG BY 'THE WHO'...)

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Musical Picks and Pans

You will now read about the last five CD's (Yes, I still say albums) I purchased. You don't like it? Tough. Go read someone else's boring ass work stories instead(Rita is SO loud and her cubicle is RIGHT next to mine). Yes, I still buy CD's and don't download stuff. If you are all smirky over that, I mock your non-tactile, internet-hugging, no attention span soul. You still here? Ok, then.

1.) Modern Guilt - Beck
I usually love the Becks. Good grooves, good times. Fun lyrics. The DVD that came with his last album cracked my shit up to no end (Hey, lets make videos to all my songs consisting of us dressing up in whatever crap we can find around the house, dance around and lip sync, shoot it on this digital camera, play around with all of the settings on said camera and release the DVD with my album!) However, this CD just sounded like one long bwrr-wrr-wrr noise. I replayed it a couple of times and the sound changed to a wrrp-bow-bp. Just a very uninteresting record.

What Spin magazine would say: "Beck, the baby-faced beat chameleon, sucks us in again with a rhythm that runs the gamut from bwrr-wrr-wrr to wrrp-bow-bp."

2.) Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes
I didn't know what to expect from this, as I just bought it on a whim from a friend's recommendation - I was thinking it would be a little alt-country-ish. Instead, the sound is really unique - a ethereal, ghostly lead vocals with harmonies and spare instrumentation. I like it more upon each listening. Enjoy it while driving through nature on a sunny Fall day.

What Spin magazine would say: "Fleet Foxes' haunting, soaring melodies belie their sweet lyrical tidings."

3.) Alejandro Escovedo - Real Animal
I've always liked his stuff, but not enough to really dive in and be a huge-o fan. This CD is really nice from beginning to end. All of the songs are co-written with Chuck Prophet and you can tell. They have that CP jangly feel to them, as well as his "shouted more than sung" vocals. I may go back to some of earlier stuff. I like his very listenable style.

What Spin magazine would say: "C'mon like we are ever going to hate on this kind of guy. That would be like criticizing Jesus. Or Wilco."

4.) Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend
Yeah, yeah - don't roll your eyes at me. The thing is, the only criticism I hear of these guys is: "These snobby punks are ripping off African music and are shoving their preppy whiteness in my face." So the problem is people do not like their image. Referencing Cape Cod parties and putting chandeliers and boaty shoes in their album art pisses people off. Why? Would you rather they fake being garage band punks instead of Columbia frat boys? Anyway, the music is rather good. On some tracks, it's like somebody took Paul Simon's Graceland and added some interesting twists and turns. On other tracks, it's more straight ahead rock y roll.

What Spin Magazine would say: "Pure. Unadulterated. Genius. We can not hype these guys enough. On a related note, there is zero chance that we will like their next album."

5.) Black Kids - Partie Traumatic
Want something peppy, but can't bring yourself to spring for Vampire Weekend? I challenge you to listen to "Look at Me(when I rock witchoo)" and not dance like that guy with the Happy Mondays. It's infectious rhythm-y fun.

What Spin Magazine would say: "Is it Post-Dance or Neo-Hip-Hop? Our 'Pretentious Music Labeller Magic 8 Ball' is on the fritz again."

Dear Miss Sunday,

Hello, I wouldn't expect you to remember me, but I was a student in your 6th Grade class at St. John's Elementary in Toledo a number (25? sheesh.) of years ago.

Your name crossed my memory banks as I was driving home yesterday evening when the Police song "King of Pain" came on the radio. I recall learning this song, as well as perhaps some Carly Simon songs ("You're So Vain", maybe?) as a part of your class.

As I thought about it, I realized what a great experience your class was and outside the norm of the typically staid/unchallenging Catholic grade school curriculum at that time. So, I wanted to personally thank you for going the extra mile in reaching out and engaging myself and my clasmates at a higher level than what was required or expected.

Teaching seems to be a somewhat thankless job, so given an opportunity to show my appreciation, 25 years after the fact - thank you!

Your efforts then played no small part in helping shape the critically thinking, socially conscious, 37-year old urban dweller that I am today.


Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Is This Woman Hot?

"OMG, she's a MILF!"

"Gov. Palin is hot, dude."

Really? Far be it from me to define beauty for the masses. Far be it from me to judge the tastes of J. Crew buyin', plaid sportscoat wearin', Dave Matthews listenin' frat boys everywhere. BUT, seriously?

We are supposed to be "excited" about a candidate because she wears some ugly-ass frameless glasses even Jodie Foster wouldn't be caught dead in?

Isn't there some "absolute value" we can put on beauty? Do we have to conditional-ize it with "...for a woman of 45..." or "...for a lady with 5 kids..."? Seriously, I could understand if she was making public appearances in a short mini-skirt or low-cut shirt (I almost said blouse - no, I'm not gay). However, anything we have seen her in seems to be from the 'Jacklyn Smith Frumpy Alaskan Housewife' collection.

I'm not even (that) upset that people are going to vote for her because she's hot. I just don't think she's hot.

Before you write me off as a pig because I am anti-cougar or anti-breeder, allow me to retort. I have a wide berth and unusual slants when it comes to this. Within the 15 year age window that I have dated in since 2005, the highest age bracket has been, by far, the hottest in my opinion. Bjork is my celebrity exception for crissakes. OK, maybe I am anti-breeder, but stay with me...

Finally, as beauty is at least 27% beyond looks - is there any way a gun toting, pro-lifey, Mrs. degree earning from Idaho, oil bidness flunkee, abstinence only fascist that sounds like Marge from Fargo be considered hot?

Actually, maybe the gun toting and Marge sounding-like thing together could work if the porn plotline was good enough and the production values were okay...